Life of an Indian (NRI)
Here is the brief account about the life of a person abroad esp US. A long one but good to read and mostly true!!.
For first 3 months
Has got his SSN, managed a driving license after quite a bit of difficulty and fear; managed a second hand car; rented a decent apartment; Spending about $500 on phone bills calling up every friend and relative. Next 3 months: Finds to his shock that he has less money in bank than he had during the big consulting trips (when he knew that he used to get peanuts and hence lived within his means sharing a apartment and a car with 4 people and saved some money really)!! So now he starts making huge cuts in telephone bill (first he starts with his home calls and close friend calls -huge cut) and is happy to see the bill cut down to $250.
Next 6 months
Has some friends by now, makes some trips to Niagara (its a ritual like the Kashi and Rameswaram trip in India), New York city and White House. Experienced a winter and fed-up with his car not starting, decides to buy a new car, feels lonely, thinks of his marriage.
Next 3 months
Decides to call up his family about searching for a bride. Company asks him about green card, has 2 minds; change jobs for 10K increase, or stay content with 5K increase given by the present company.
Next 3 months
He fixes a trip after daily hunting for the cheapest ticket, goes home (India) with quite a few gifts for his family, fixes girl!!! Comes back to the US in 3 weeks, as he knows he will be going back home after 6 months for marriage (the other Indians are not so rewarded in cash; and they will have to go back 6 months down the line for getting married.)
After 6 months
Gets married, now he is for sure his dream of coming back in 3 years is becoming pale!!... He has to spend $3000 on travel next time to go Back home; he has spent a lot in car repayment; 2 Indian trips and in gifts now he wont go back for 2 years: meanwhile he has to get his green card anyway;(so he consoles himself that circumstances forced him to stay rather than blaming his will power). 2 years further: Makes a trip home, buys more gifts for the wife side relatives than his own brothers and sisters!! Calculates every dollar, but finds out to his surprise that salaries in India have grown greatly, and also the cost of everything, now his savings will buy only 1 flat in south Madras, not at Mylapore, he wont have any cash if he thinks of settling in India; decides that he will stay in the US for another 3 years and concentrate more on saving and come back to India for good.
3 years in US
Has kid (his mother in law came during delivery; he was worried all along that should they fall sick, he will be gone in medical care; he prays to God more than he prayed for his School final marks or JEE/CET seat). He is a family man; thinks that if his 2 year old daughter stays in US after she is 7-8 years of age, she will have all those bad habits, so makes a plan to go back after 5 years, when his daughter would have seen the Disney Land and nice things when she is not yet spoilt by the western culture.
4 years
Makes a trip to India with a 20% hope of returning to India. His retired father with BP and diabetes and mother with heart problem are in the forefront of his thoughts. But he goes to a few companies, (His ego is a little hurt as he was working as a programmer in US, in spite of having good knowledge and had managed 10 people team in India), he expects to be appointed as a general manager; but doesn't get one; or even if he gets, compares with $70K and finds it peanuts, so he decides to show his parents to a doctor; asks his neighbors to look after them; and gets on a plane to the US.
5 years down the line
His wife likes the US, and she does not have the problem of the pestering of her mother-in-law. Halts all plans of her husband's thoughts of returning home. Wife visits India during december season, shows off and then comes back to the US (While in India she talks to her relatives about her own car, kid's bharatanatyam class in Denver suburbs; her relatives exclaim that they are still so Indian)....
10 years later
Our man is in his 50's. He suddenly remembers the Indian culture. Is reminiscing in his dreams of the past about reciting Sahasranama at 6 PM in the Shiva temple, the prasad at the Narayana temple, his jolly stints with his Chetak (name of a scooter in India) and the coffee at the bar in front of the Consultancy services at Lloyds office and Annapoorna. He wants all of them back. So goes to India (but doesn't find it and that all are not truly continuing; blames Indians for forgetting culture!) Buys a big flat and decides to come back in 2 years.
After 20 years
He goes back to India but not with his family; his children Sweta and son Nikhil (nice fancy names unlike the Ramanaryanan and Sivasubramanian though they were deep rooted in tradition and ancestral heritage) are going to "SCHOOL" (at Michigan University, not in our terms a university; they calls it SCHOOL) and are likely to get settled there with Steve and Susan respectively. He does not like it; but cannot help it and so accepts it without saying anything; wife accepts it more realistically; but still blames the circumstances (had I got $ 70K when I passed out Engineering, would I have come here and spent 30 years here. He does not remember that rest of the Indians earned only 1165 + city allowance + DA relief of 180 rupees fifty paise when he got 3500 in campus and got 1000 hike every 6 months in his software consulting company). Now in his sixties at Adyar; he goes to temple; his neighborhood flats kids are wearing American T-shirts, watching MTV. Our man is feeling bad that they are growing too Western; he passes his last days hoping his son and daughter will join him at death; (doesn't remember that he sent only get well card and made few telephonic calls using AT&T, MCI cheap rate duration's than attend to them personally but still expects his son will come & nurse him)> ... the good treatment at Malar Hospital has restored his health; now he can walk to the corner shop and negotiate coriander leaves for 50 paise spoiling the poor daily wage earners' meager things)... And now our man rests in peace at an old age home!!
For first 3 months
Has got his SSN, managed a driving license after quite a bit of difficulty and fear; managed a second hand car; rented a decent apartment; Spending about $500 on phone bills calling up every friend and relative. Next 3 months: Finds to his shock that he has less money in bank than he had during the big consulting trips (when he knew that he used to get peanuts and hence lived within his means sharing a apartment and a car with 4 people and saved some money really)!! So now he starts making huge cuts in telephone bill (first he starts with his home calls and close friend calls -huge cut) and is happy to see the bill cut down to $250.
Next 6 months
Has some friends by now, makes some trips to Niagara (its a ritual like the Kashi and Rameswaram trip in India), New York city and White House. Experienced a winter and fed-up with his car not starting, decides to buy a new car, feels lonely, thinks of his marriage.
Next 3 months
Decides to call up his family about searching for a bride. Company asks him about green card, has 2 minds; change jobs for 10K increase, or stay content with 5K increase given by the present company.
Next 3 months
He fixes a trip after daily hunting for the cheapest ticket, goes home (India) with quite a few gifts for his family, fixes girl!!! Comes back to the US in 3 weeks, as he knows he will be going back home after 6 months for marriage (the other Indians are not so rewarded in cash; and they will have to go back 6 months down the line for getting married.)
After 6 months
Gets married, now he is for sure his dream of coming back in 3 years is becoming pale!!... He has to spend $3000 on travel next time to go Back home; he has spent a lot in car repayment; 2 Indian trips and in gifts now he wont go back for 2 years: meanwhile he has to get his green card anyway;(so he consoles himself that circumstances forced him to stay rather than blaming his will power). 2 years further: Makes a trip home, buys more gifts for the wife side relatives than his own brothers and sisters!! Calculates every dollar, but finds out to his surprise that salaries in India have grown greatly, and also the cost of everything, now his savings will buy only 1 flat in south Madras, not at Mylapore, he wont have any cash if he thinks of settling in India; decides that he will stay in the US for another 3 years and concentrate more on saving and come back to India for good.
3 years in US
Has kid (his mother in law came during delivery; he was worried all along that should they fall sick, he will be gone in medical care; he prays to God more than he prayed for his School final marks or JEE/CET seat). He is a family man; thinks that if his 2 year old daughter stays in US after she is 7-8 years of age, she will have all those bad habits, so makes a plan to go back after 5 years, when his daughter would have seen the Disney Land and nice things when she is not yet spoilt by the western culture.
4 years
Makes a trip to India with a 20% hope of returning to India. His retired father with BP and diabetes and mother with heart problem are in the forefront of his thoughts. But he goes to a few companies, (His ego is a little hurt as he was working as a programmer in US, in spite of having good knowledge and had managed 10 people team in India), he expects to be appointed as a general manager; but doesn't get one; or even if he gets, compares with $70K and finds it peanuts, so he decides to show his parents to a doctor; asks his neighbors to look after them; and gets on a plane to the US.
5 years down the line
His wife likes the US, and she does not have the problem of the pestering of her mother-in-law. Halts all plans of her husband's thoughts of returning home. Wife visits India during december season, shows off and then comes back to the US (While in India she talks to her relatives about her own car, kid's bharatanatyam class in Denver suburbs; her relatives exclaim that they are still so Indian)....
10 years later
Our man is in his 50's. He suddenly remembers the Indian culture. Is reminiscing in his dreams of the past about reciting Sahasranama at 6 PM in the Shiva temple, the prasad at the Narayana temple, his jolly stints with his Chetak (name of a scooter in India) and the coffee at the bar in front of the Consultancy services at Lloyds office and Annapoorna. He wants all of them back. So goes to India (but doesn't find it and that all are not truly continuing; blames Indians for forgetting culture!) Buys a big flat and decides to come back in 2 years.
After 20 years
He goes back to India but not with his family; his children Sweta and son Nikhil (nice fancy names unlike the Ramanaryanan and Sivasubramanian though they were deep rooted in tradition and ancestral heritage) are going to "SCHOOL" (at Michigan University, not in our terms a university; they calls it SCHOOL) and are likely to get settled there with Steve and Susan respectively. He does not like it; but cannot help it and so accepts it without saying anything; wife accepts it more realistically; but still blames the circumstances (had I got $ 70K when I passed out Engineering, would I have come here and spent 30 years here. He does not remember that rest of the Indians earned only 1165 + city allowance + DA relief of 180 rupees fifty paise when he got 3500 in campus and got 1000 hike every 6 months in his software consulting company). Now in his sixties at Adyar; he goes to temple; his neighborhood flats kids are wearing American T-shirts, watching MTV. Our man is feeling bad that they are growing too Western; he passes his last days hoping his son and daughter will join him at death; (doesn't remember that he sent only get well card and made few telephonic calls using AT&T, MCI cheap rate duration's than attend to them personally but still expects his son will come & nurse him)> ... the good treatment at Malar Hospital has restored his health; now he can walk to the corner shop and negotiate coriander leaves for 50 paise spoiling the poor daily wage earners' meager things)... And now our man rests in peace at an old age home!!
posted by Yatri at 1:06 AM
2 Comments:
Very well written.
Thought Provoking.
It extends to people beyond the US.
The current generation seem to fancy migration to Australia, America, Canada UK and New Zealand settle down there for good.
I have been abroad for about 7 years now ( a small country) and most of the friends have this question, why arent you settling down elsewhere, atleast for the sake of the kids atleast.
Something is holding me back; I wish to be on the shores of India soon; More important can see expats filling in roles that we can fill...
Very well written. It would have been better if you had also written about the case where he lives in US(or other foreign country) till his death. could you post one more article on that?
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